Q13.What question had the most impact on you? Would you change any of your answers now it’s been a year?

1 Jun

People don’t ask enough questions, and when they do, the answers that are given are never genuine. Just a passing phrase like, “yeh pulling through” or “Not too bad”. This blog was made to give a place for people to genuinely think about tough questions and answer them with honesty and emotion. It’s also a place for people to come and read and get to know real people talking about their thoughts, feelings and life experiences in great detail. It’s a place to connect with someone new and maybe let people into your being. It’s been a year to the day and these two blogs are a round-up of what’s been said and how people feel about the blog.

some words from the participents

Vinny road

The blog has really helped me express my feelings and thoughts. It really allowed me to say whatever I think or what's on my mind it's also helped me to figure things out and work on myself. Changing to become the best that I can be one step at a time.

Spitty Micky

Both answering my own questions and reading the answers of others has been ultimately self reflective. I couldn't help but have an opinion on others' answers and almost always compared them to my own thoughts. I particularly enjoyed reading the answers from the people much older than myself. Their perspectives were different and I think they promoted family values. The year of Life in Perspective has given me the chance to see how I felt about different aspects of life from different aspects of my life. Looking back at some of my answers makes me cringe but they felt true or at least true at the time they were answered and having this directed public journal was a good way to explore more about myself. Even if that exploration came after reading the answers retrospectively.

Fred Gee

The blog has been really interesting and sometimes challenging, I got to be honest there been a few question where I have thought how the fuck how do I answer that, but when I eventually sit down to write my answer, I find thoughts just come into my head and the answer flow. There’s a certain amount of gratification out of completing the answer. The best part about it though is reading everyone’s answers, they can be so different and varied, how people have interpreted the question in different ways and sometimes thinking yeah never thought of it that way what a great spin on the answer.

Keep the questions coming

Pip Squeak

When I heard about the blog I thought it was a great idea. one of the hardest things a person can do is open up and be honest about themselves to other people. to be able to do it anonymously and then read other peoples submissions I found it to be really therapeutic. One of the things i've learned as I’ve gotten older is you are not the only one who thinks and feels certain things, you think and feel that you’re the only person experiencing what’s going on in your head but that’s not true. Thinking like that can make you feel hopeless and through experience I know it can be life threatening. I’ve lost 5 friends to suicide and I’ve also had my own struggles with my own mental health through anxiety. I once had a bit of a meltdown - my anxiety went through the roof because my mother in-law was dying and I was about to have my second child. It suddenly dawned on me that I had another person to provide for and my partner was about to lose her mother and what that would do to her and how we as a family would be affected. I was overwhelmed with a tight chest and tension headaches that went on for months to the point where one day it tipped me over the edge, I burst into tears, drove home from work and knew I needed help. I couldn’t talk to my family members about how I felt as I knew there would be biases and what I said might directly affect that person as some things were about them. I needed to talk to someone impartial and the next day I bit the bullet and went to speak to someone. It was the best thing I could have done as it instantly relieved me of my symptoms and I could look on the situation with a clear head.

If this blog gives people the opportunity to offload - I know first hand how powerful that is to someone in a pickle and since my ordeal I’ve encouraged people to do the same. A friend of mine set up a mental health group for men after one of our friends committed suicide in the hope that it would encourage men to go and talk to other men and offload. It ran for a while but it failed because men find it so hard to talk about things and therefore most nights no one would turn up. I think this blog could be a great platform for people, especially men to be able to offload and not feel alone when dealing with stresses that we all deal with. I think Mental health can be used as scapegoat for being weak and using it as an excuse not to take responsibility especially men - we need to be men, provide, protect and set example and there are men out there trying to do that but are suffering under the weight of expectation and purpose - I think this blog is a step in the right direction for both men and women to possibly take something from it therapeutically which will be a huge benefit to some People who need it. I hope my answers Have helped and will help people in the future, and hope the platform grows and extends to more people, that would be great.

Edward Ricketts

For over a year now I have been answering the questions for the blog. It has brought back many memories about my past which is a good thing in itself, but mostly it has helped me look into myself and ask questions that I may never have wanted to answer. Apart from enjoying the process of thinking of my answers and writing them down, I now use this blog as a kind of therapy and look forward to the next challenging question.

Ok so the question that had the most impact on me was what scares you the most. I have always felt scared about dying and leaving the kids, but never really told anyone except my family, so saying it out loud was quite scary. I feel like recently I have been drinking smoking and eating too much which has really made me question myself and I’m going to try to calm down so I don’t worry about dying

The answer I would change is did the past year go as planned and what do I anticipate for this year? I think today’s answer would be last year was quite stressful and I anticipate next year to be worse! And if I had said that, I would have been spot on
It’s been a shit year so far!!!
The question that had the biggest impact on me was have you enjoyed your life so far. It made you have to look back at your life and made you think about all the times you have loved and some u haven’t
I wouldn’t change my answers to any of the questions because even though I might have a different opinion now I like the fact I can look back on the answers and see how my thoughts on things have changed throughout a year
Although I enjoyed answering the music question the most, the question that impacted me the most was the second one, the "Do you like yourself?" one. I think it impacted me the most because it felt like the most self reflective. I think it took the longest to write and I remember I kept changing my answer. Even though my answer would change if I were to rewrite it, I wouldn't want to. The answer felt unorganised and messy and that is probably a reflection of how I felt about myself at the time.
Q2 - had most effect on me because I made me think of I time when I didn’t really like the type of person I was.
Q10 - I would change my answer
The fact that everything is life is so fickle and one simple mistake could mean loosing everything that means the most to you.
I'm happy with the answers that I gave to the questions.
The question that had the most impact would have to be "At what point in your life were you the happiest". It brought back so many memories, so much so that I could have written for hours. I drove over to Gibbonsdown where I grew up recently, off the back of answering the question to take a look around, I was surprised at how much smaller everything looked and it made me sad to see how much of the fields had been built on with new houses.
I remember when I was young my father telling me stories of when he was young when there were hardly any houses in the Cadoxton area and the whole of Treharne, the Colcot, and Gibbonsdown had not been built yet, I guess time moves on, look at Barry Docks now.
The question that had the most impact on me was DO YOU LIKE YOURSELF really made me think long and hard about myself and how I see me and how others perceive me.
It’s probably the same for most people I guess, but there are lots of things I like about my personality , but lots of things I would change if I could and the question made me look at these and start listing my faults, flaws and analysing my character.
The answer I would change at the moment now it's been a year is DID THE PAST YEAR GO AS EXPECTED? AND WHAT WOULD YOU ANTICPATE THIS YEAR? I wouldn’t change it, but would add to it now, my old man fell over and broke his hip, now he’s in hospital recovering pissing and shitting himself on regular basis, but waiting to come home, so I’m thinking fuck when he gets out how’s this one going to work. So really didn’t see this coming and hoping fingers crossed that when he does get out he will be ok and we can cope with his day to day needs.
What question had the most impact on you?
Do you like yourself?
I would also change this answer to say that I do like myself now. TAhat I don't think about anyone judging me. I have learnt to just be myself if somebody doesn't like me there is always someone that does. At the end of the day I like myself so that's all that really matters.
When were you at your happiest?
No, I answered them all honestly
Two questions had the biggest impact on me and I can’t choose one over the other.
What scares you? And Did this past year go as expected for you? What do you anticipate this year?
They both made me think a lot about who I am, the life I’ve created and the people I love the most and the impact my actions have on them.
I think about death often and what that means to be dead - Some people find comfort in believing in god and an afterlife, maybe the possibility to see loved ones who’ve passed on again. I don’t believe in any of that. I believe we never existed then we do for 80 - 90 years if we’re lucky and then we don’t exist again forever. Having said that I still struggle to come to terms with the latter of not existing anymore. If we are anything we are our thoughts and a collection of memories. When I die I am no more in any sense, gone, floppy disc folder moved to recycle bin and emptied! By reading and listening to old/older peoples attitude to not existing anymore has made it easier for me to come to terms with it as when I’m gone I won’t be worrying about it then.
Would I change any answers?
No as I only submitted them relatively recently - I would elaborate on my song choice - Caroline No. by the beach boys.
I think it’s one of the most emotionally evocative songs ever written. The music perfectly conveys exactly what the lyrics are trying to make you feel. It hits you right in the gut and forces you to feel that feeling of losing someone you love. Desperately sad but the perfect melody for its intended use. The song has an offbeat too which makes it sound unlike any other song I’ve heard so it adds to its uniqueness. Brian Wilson is a genius.